She’s got you thinking this is how you’re supposed to be. Well it’s not! We’re young! We’re supposed to drink too much! We’re supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each others’ brains out! We are designed to party! This is it! Yeah so a few of us will overdose or go mental, but Charles Darwin said you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs! And that’s what it’s all about: breaking eggs! And by “eggs,” I do mean getting twatted on a cocktail of Class A’s. If you could just see yourselves, it breaks my heart! You’re wearing cardigans! We had it all. We fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful! We’re screw-ups. I’m a screw-up and I plan to be a screw-up until my late twenties, maybe even my early thirties, and I will shag my own mother before I let her or anyone else take that away from me!